In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
