come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize