she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
