I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize