Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
