How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
