I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
