My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
