Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
