the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
