No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
