Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
ttyl tear gas
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just had sex on a roof
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
