i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
