Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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