Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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