She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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