no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
