You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
