kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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