but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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