I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
