I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
