so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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