Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
