i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
