I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
