So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
