I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
