I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Boobs speak an international language.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
