i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
