I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
