He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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