I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
