I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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