Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
