I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
