So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
