doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
