apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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