if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I think I died a long time ago.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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