my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
love makes seman taste better
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
