So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
