I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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