she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
