turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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