if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Need sex. Gaining weight.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
