so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
