Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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