Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
