i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
