Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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