Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
