It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
