absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
