I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
