he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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