oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
