I cannot find my penis.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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