Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
