Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
