I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
