I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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