somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
